Memorial Service Planning Template

A loving tribute: The purpose of a memorial service

A memorial service is an opportunity to honor the life of a loved one who has passed away. It's a time for family and friends to gather together, share memories, and celebrate the impact that person had on their lives.

Unlike a funeral, which often takes place shortly after death, a memorial service can be held at any time. It can be a more relaxed and personalized event, focused on remembrance and reflection.

The purpose of a memorial service is to:

• Honor and remember the life of the deceased
• Provide a support network for those who are grieving
• Share stories, memories, and tributes
• Find comfort in being together with family and friends
• Celebrate the legacy and impact of your loved one

Ultimately, a memorial service is a tribute to the bond you shared with the person who died and the love you will always carry in your heart. It's a beautiful way to say goodbye while cherishing the memory of your loved one.

Choosing the right venue for a memorial service

When planning a memorial service, the venue you choose helps set the tone for the event. You'll want to select a location that is meaningful to your loved one and can comfortably accommodate the guests you expect.

Some common venue options include:

• Place of worship (church, synagogue, mosque)
• Funeral home or cemetery chapel
• Community center or social hall
• Park or beach for an outdoor service
• Home or backyard of the deceased or a family member
• Meaningful location tied to your loved one's life or interests

As you consider different venues, think about:

• The expected number of guests and seating needed
• Whether you want the service to have religious elements
• Accessibility for elderly guests or those with disabilities
• Audio-visual needs for slideshows, videos or music
• Whether you plan to serve food and drinks after the service

Also check on any venue fees and whether they have staff to assist with setup and coordination on the day of the service. Aim to finalize your venue at least a few weeks before the service date.

Key elements of a meaningful memorial service

When you picture a memorial service, you likely think of people sharing speeches, poetry, or spiritual readings. But there are many elements you can include to make the service personal and meaningful.

Key elements of most memorial services include:

• Welcome and opening remarks
• Prayers, religious or spiritual readings
• Biographical sketch or life story of your loved one
• Shared memories and tributes from family and friends
• Slideshow or video presentation with photos/video clips
• Music, either live or recorded meaningful songs
• A memorial table displaying photos and personal items
• Closing remarks and information on a reception, if planned

Other meaningful elements you may want to include:

• A memory book or box for guests to share written memories
• Favorite poems, quotes or passages that were meaningful
• A dove or butterfly release at the end of an outdoor service
• A group activity like planting a tree or making a group photo

Remember, there is no set formula. Think about what would help tell the story of your loved one's life and provide the most comfort to friends and family.

Selecting and preparing speakers for a memorial service

One of the most powerful parts of a memorial service is hearing stories and memories from those who knew your loved one best. Speakers may include close family members, friends, co-workers or clergy.

As you consider who to ask to speak, think about:

• Close family like siblings or adult children
• Lifelong friends who can share lighthearted memories
• Colleagues who can speak to their work life and achievements
• Spiritual leaders who can provide wisdom and comforting words

Once you have selected speakers, give them guidance on what to cover. You may suggest they share a specific story or reflect on the person's character and impact.

Encourage speakers to:

• Aim for a 3-5 minute tribute
• Write out what they plan to say for practice
• Keep the tone respectful but also don't be afraid of humor
• Focus on happy memories vs. the grief of the loss
• Practice their remarks ahead of time to help with emotions

On the day of the service, have someone greet each speaker, show them where to sit, and guide them to the podium when it's their turn. Make sure to have tissues and water at the podium as well.

Personalizing the service to honor your loved one

A memorial service should be a reflection of the unique life and legacy of your loved one. Look for ways to weave their personality, passions and experiences into the service.

Some ideas for personalization:

• Feature their favorite music, whether a meaningful hymn or upbeat rock song
• Incorporate their hobbies through a memorial table or activity (e.g. golf tees for golfer)
• Have the service in a place that was meaningful to them
• Use their favorite flowers, colors, poems, scriptures in the decor and readings
• Share their life story through a biography, eulogy or video tribute
• Display photos or mementos that capture their spirit - even beloved quirky items
• Serve their favorite foods at a reception after the service

You can even have guests participate by:

• Inviting them to wear your loved one's favorite color vs. traditional black
• Having them bring a photo or item that reminds them of your loved one
• Asking them to share a memory in a memory book or memory box
• Giving a sentimental favor like a packet of their favorite flower seeds to plant

The personalization helps make people feel connected to the one you're remembering and celebrates what made them so special to all of you.

Involving family and friends in the memorial service

A memorial service is a time to surround yourself with a community of support. Involving family members and friends in the service is not only helpful to you, but allows others who are grieving to play a role in honoring your loved one.

Ways to involve family and friends:

• Have children or grandchildren do readings or prayers
• Ask friends to greet guests or hand out programs
• Invite a friend who is musical to play or sing a meaningful song
• Have a crafty relative arrange photos or make a memory board
• Ask a tech-savvy relative to create a slideshow or video tribute
• See if someone can host a reception at their home after the service
• Have someone close to you review the service outline and provide input

Giving others a role helps them feel a part of the tribute. It can be comforting to work together and support each other through a difficult time.

Be specific in your requests and spread out tasks so no one person is overwhelmed. Make sure to express your appreciation for their contributions to the service.

Remember, you don't have to shoulder the burden of planning alone. Your friends and family likely want to help in any way they can. Allowing them to be involved can help everyone begin to heal.

Creating a printed program for the memorial service

A printed program is a helpful guide for guests outlining the key parts of the memorial service. It also serves as a sentimental tribute to your loved one that guests can take home as a keepsake.

A simple printed program includes:

• Your loved one's full name, photo, birth and death dates
• Time, date and location of the memorial service
• Names of speakers and their relationship to your loved one
• Titles of musical selections, poems or other readings
• Lyrics to any songs, prayers or scripture passages
• A short biography or list of lifetime milestones and achievements
• A note of appreciation to guests for attending
• Information on where to make memorial donations, if desired

Other optional items to include:

• Additional photos from throughout their life
• Their favorite poem, quote or Scripture verse
• A note from your loved one found among their belongings
• Symbols of their religious faith, hobbies or interests

Programs don't have to be fancy - a simple, heartfelt design is best. You can find templates online or ask your funeral home or place of worship if they can create one for you as part of their service.

Additional touches: Music, readings, and remembrances

Music, poetry and spiritual passages are a meaningful part of most memorial services. They help us express emotions that are hard to put into words and can provide comfort in a difficult time.

When selecting music, consider:

• Your loved one's favorite songs or hymns
• Songs that were meaningful in your relationship with them
• Music that captures their spirit or brings back happy memories
• Both instrumental pieces and those with comforting lyrics

You can have the music performed live by guests or use recordings. If you use spiritual music, confirm it aligns with your loved one's faith tradition.

For readings, look for passages that:

• Reflect on the enduring nature of love
• Provide words of comfort and hope
• Capture your loved one's outlook on life
• Come from books or and sources that were meaningful to them

Readings are a wonderful role for both older and younger family members and friends. Aim for the readings to be about 2-3 minutes long.

Finally, consider other remembrances you may want to include:

• A moment of silence
• A prayer or spiritual blessing
• A dove or butterfly release at the end of the service
• Asking guests to share a memory out loud
• Lighting memorial candles

These honorary gestures, combined with the music and readings you select, all contribute to a service that truly celebrates the beauty of your loved one's life.

Wrapping things up: Your memorial service planning checklist

Planning a memorial service involves many details - from securing a venue to choosing music and inviting guests. Breaking tasks into a checklist can help make the process feel more manageable.

Key tasks include:

• Choose a venue and date for the service
• Decide on speakers and readers and ask them to participate
• Select music, readings, prayers and other honorary gestures
• Write an obituary and post details on a memorial website
• Create and send invitations to the service
• Gather photos and memorabilia for a photo display or slideshow
• Write a printed program and have it printed
• Plan for a reception following the service, if desired
• Assign family/friends to greet guests, distribute programs, run AV, etc.
• Visit the venue in advance and do a final review of service details

Remember to take care of yourself during this process as well. Get support from family and friends and don't hesitate to delegate tasks.

Most importantly, keep the focus on honoring and celebrating the life of your loved one. Then the service details will fall into place. Even if everything doesn't go exactly as planned, you will still create a loving tribute.

After the service, make time to follow up with your support network, write thank-you notes to those who helped, and think about other ways you want to keep your loved one's memory alive. This is just the start of a lifelong tribute.